M&T Restaurant, nyc

M&T Restaurant Inc in Flushing is a sweltering hole in the wall.  E's recently been reading about these kinds of places in newspapers and blogs, and I was inspired by how Anthony Bourdain asks ethnic friends to take him where white people aren't normally allowed.  So I thought, what the hell?  Time for something new. Sort of ironic though, that Chinese people now find out from white people where to get good Chinese food.

We actually tried this once before.  One of the restaurants (Xi'an Famous Foods) was in a disgusting basement that was muggier than a Turkish bath house.  The other (Taste of Shanghai), well... the Health Department got there first.  But I did manage to catch a glimpse of some serious scrubbing bubbles.

Anyway, I should note that after our last Flushing excursion, E's parents were very skeptical.  But E just kept talking about how famous M&T Restaurant is.  I played along.  "OMG you won't believe how F'ing good this place is!"  "Look at all these GD write ups in the window!"  "I bet people come from miles around for this stuff!"  E's dad:  "This place sucks!"

After some cajoling and a little arm twisting though, we all file in.  M & T's claim to fame, they serve "the bowels of the sea".  I immediately start to channel the aforementioned Bourdain with a little Andrew Zimmern added.  I want to order every stomach churning thing on the menu.  Let me cite a few examples for you:  Leek with Intestines; Sea Cucumber with Scallions; Qindao Style Spicy Chicken Neck; Meierti Boss Fish (the coolest sounding dish by far); Qindao Style Pork Skin Aspic in Jelly; Sautee Kidney Slice; Elbow with Special Sauce. 

We ended up mixing in a few normal things though. E's mom took care of the ordering since she speaks Mandarin.  The seemed worried about me.  But mom didn't bat an eye.  Just marched on through.  Really, she had no idea what was on the menu. Seemed like there was a lot of intense negotiation.  Like we ordered a billion dishes... or maybe just seven.

Everything came more or less at once.   But here's the play by play.  The amuse bouche was Tarot Root and Pickled Radish.  If I'd known how hot the subsequent dishes were gonna be, I'd have asked for seconds, thirds and fourths.

Next, Grand Soup Fish Stick.  As I think back, this doesn't sound right. But then again, I really have no idea what we ordered.  It was goooooooooooood though.  Table favorite!  Even the hot chilies were fried and man oh man, Isa loves to eats dem!  (Sorry for the Jar Jar Binks imitation, but I just got a new dog and she likes dumb voices.  Or at least I think she does.)

Now hold yer horses.  Leek with Intestines.  We all agreed, they weren't actually intestines.  Looked more like those tuber things that live on the ocean floor.  You know, the ones that look like fat bubble tea straws and get spooked by crabs and other spastic bottom feeders (See youtube link below).  Of course it was my favorite dish.  A little flavorless, but what texture!  OMGWTF these were a squishy, spongy, rubbery d-e-l-i-g-h-t!

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Sheesh, I should probably speed up.  Jelly Fish with Shredded Chicken.  Ironically more chicken than jelly fish.  But the chicken did taste like it was from coop filled with not altogether unpleasant bilge water.

Pork Chop with Shrimp Sauce was pretty normal, but tasty.  Came on a bed of cool fried rice noodles, but looked more like a basket of foamy inch worms.  Sorta cute. E thought the pork tasted briny though.

Shredded Pork with Spicy Garlic Sauce was nice but served scalding hot.  I burned off the roof of my mouth and somehow this took my mind of the fact that it was about a thousand degrees inside the restaurant.

Okay, getting to the end.  Hot and Sour Soup is usually one of my favorites.  This one was deceptive though.  Very smooth at first and then bam!  Blam!  Bang!  I think this was some sort of authenticity test that I didn't pass.  I had three sips, each worse than the last, compounding waves of heat.  Getting ready to pass out.

Last but not least, Qindao Pasta with Special Sauce.  E's brother thought this was more like beef boullion cube flavored jello cut into 'noodles'.  In retrospect, I agree.  However, I think we really needed this dish to cool off, so it was a welcome end to an intense hour and a half.

For the first time in a long time E and I treated his family which felt nice.  They recently took us to Bar Americain at Mohegan Sun (review forthcoming).  Anyway, as soon as the check came I laid down the cash, pealed myself from my sweat soaked seat and ushered everyone out.  I was drunk off of one too many Tsingtao beers (which is coincidentally the region where this style food comes from) and desperately needed some air. E later remarked that I was redder than a lobster.  Worried that I might faint.  But all told, a fun outing and worth the trip!

Dinner for five guests and me (the lone boozer):  $97. Cheep, cheep, cheep!

M&T Restaurant Inc.
44-09 Kissena Blvd
Flushing, NY 11355
718 539 4100

new reviews!!!

Hey everyone, been asleep at the wheel. E and I have eaten at lots of cool places since November. I promise to clear the backlog . Why pay back student loans (currently at rates just above inflation due to the horrendous economy) when you can eat  'leek with sea intestines' for 16.99 (at M&T restaurant)

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'wichcraft, David Rubenstein Atrium @ Lincoln Center, New York City

'wichcraft is one of Tom Colicchio's new eateries that just opened a branch up by Lincoln Center.  Yes, I watch Top Chef.  Yes, I know Tom probably has high cholesterol.  Yes, I know Padma talks like a zombie: "Uggggggggg... we'd like to see Ash and Preeti and taste their brains.... uhhh, brains." And yes, the contestants have severe emotional problems.  But there's an unwritten law that gays have to watch Bravo, so I'll just get on with it.

Before dinner, Eric and I spent the afternoon hunting for xmas bargains with mild success.  E isn't much of a shopper and I'll buy anything, so we make a balanced match in that respect.  Anyway, after fighting our way through a mix of newly settled Manhattanites glued to their iPhones and disoriented European shoppers stupidly grinning about exchange rates, we took the train uptown in search of our new pre-opera dining venue.  (Upon further reflection, I ultimately agreed that Ollie's is pretty f'ing expensive for Chinese food.)

Like the Modern, this place follows the new trend of hallway dining.  Better foot traffic?  More cost effective?  A way for yupsters to temporarily experience marginality?  I couldn't say.  But the ceiling has cool  Swiss cheese holes that cast intense spot lighting onto random tables.  Two walls are covered with gigantic patches of plastic greenery that look like they need weeding.  There's also a  large mural of abstract ovals with artfully placed apertures for projection.  Makes them look like humongous olives.  A little off, but I like it.  Just wish we weren't zapped with cold crosscurrent every time someone opened a door.

Basically, this place works like Panera.  Order at the counter, they give you a placard that says "ham" or "soda", pay, go find a table and contemplate your random food word.  I thought about pigs, how cute they are, and how much I'd like to keep one as a pet.  They do funny things and are a little too sensitive.  I readily identify.

The food arrives.  Eric had the Pastrami sandwich with sauerkraut, swiss cheese & whole grain mustard, soup of the day (which was some tomato cheese basil thing), and a bottle of Boylan's cola.  I had the Roasted turkey sandwich with avocado, bacon, onion relish & aioli on ciabatta roll, the same soup, and a bottle of Bitburger beer.  Honestly, I wasn't expecting much.  I mean, how good can a sandwich be?  But OMGWTF, ICFB (I can't f'ing believe) how MF'ing good they were!  It was like the deli married the farmer's market and instead of politely tolerating one another at the reception, everyone hooked up. (I had to borrow this photo from the 'wichcraft site because of camera problems, don't ask.)

The soups were good too, maybe a bit too oily for my taste, but no big deal.  Beer was great.  Pretty good deal at only four dollars!  Afterward, we also got some cookies which had an Oreo-like layer of butter cream.  Chocolate chip, oatmeal, peanut butter:  my favorite was the oatmeal.  Bused our own table and off to Elektra to catch some z's.  I think my appreciation for opera is waning.

Dinner for two:  $42.00
'whichcraft David Rubenstein Atrium
61 W. 62nd St.
Broadway
New York, NY 10023
(212) 780-0577
Hours: Monday–Friday 8:00 am–10:00 pm , Saturday–Sunday 9:00 am–10:00 pm

The Modern, Dining Room @ Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), New York City

The Modern. OMFG it's my thirtieth birthday.  Usually we celebrate with stuffed animals in party hats and a cake, but this year we're gonna do it big!  Been saving spare change and small bills for months in a makeshift piggy bank and it's time to smash it to pieces.  Eric usually holds the purse strings tighter than Suze Orman, but thankfully an inexplicably violent reaction to orange skin and a bit of obsessive food blog reading have clouded his judgment.  Anyway, it was either dinner or a new computer monitor, and I wants me victuals dammit!

We put on our finest Italian suits (ostensibly purchased for "conferences").  Yes, I've been practicing wearing it all season (see Seoul review), but I'm finally ready for the main event.  It was really cold that day.  Not wanting to ruin the ensemble I only added gloves and a scarf.  Sort of a yuppie serial killer look.  Sure, I've always have a thing for Christian Bale in American Psycho.   But harboring no malice toward the homeless or prostitutes, probably better to identify with one of the sad but charming killers on Columbo who always end up getting caught despite the lack of fingerprints.

7:25 pm. For some reason, we always arrive way early to fine dining.  Embarrassing to be such eager beavers, so we head to the MOMA gift shop to kill some time.  Apparently this is not uncommon.  I overhear some woman bragging to the cashier that she's going to the Modern for dinner.  In his best feigned sincerity,  "Congratulations!  What's the special occasion?"  She replies, "It's my birthday!"  I cover my face with my scarf and hide behind the tallest row of overpriced hipster art books until it's time to leave.

Eight o'clock rolls around and we head over.  The entrance is a creepy limbo straight out of THX 1138.  I mean, there were no f'ing corners!  Eventually though, we just followed the noise.  Checked in with the host.  We're feeling all special again, but trying to play it cool.  Host guides us through the "Bar Room".  Looks fancy, but just beyond a milky glass wall is where the real dining takes place.  See you later suckerz!

To my dismay, the "Dining Room" feels like yet another re-purposed hallway (see: Bouchon Bakery review, 'witchcraft review (forthcoming), Thain Family Cafe @ Yale's Bass Library). Strange, but our table is nice, looks like a little stage and has a view of the entire restaurant and courtyard.  We sit side by side and take it all in.  A glimpse of the blobular blue lightbulb-head Tim Burton sculpture from across the way, the 2:1 staff to diner ratio, the other diners... 

To our left a quiet couple having a tense time.  The man kept aggressively shushing his date.  Flashes of domestic abuse run through my head.  To the right, another birthday.  Two women and a man celebrating  forty-something years and slamming mixed drinks.  Sloppy laughter and LOUD talking.  This was a threesome waiting to happen.  The table in front is a yuppity couple, two gay guys, and their beards...  Insurance policies in some mixed-up group blind date thing?

Soon the head waiter comes over and sizes us up. He sees us trying really hard in our suits and prepares himself for cheapskate à la carte clientele.  Gives us semi-abrupt treatment with the menus and some time alone.  Please, we knew what we were gonna order before we walked in the door! "Two glasses of champagne please.   I'll have the Chef's Tasting Menu and Eric would like the Seasonal Harvest Menu."  An imperceptible pause later, that frown turned upside down.  "Very good!  Shall I send over the sommelier?"  Without batting an eye, "Of course!"  I whisper to Eric "That's the wine guy, right?"

"I hear you're interested in the tasting menus.  Can I offer some assistance?"  Looking at the wine prices, I shrink back in terror.  Right about now, Suze Orman is shaking her orange finger at me and asking what this is gonna do to my 401K.  But Eric, fast on his feet, comes to the rescue: "Could you make a suggestion from the Gems section?"  I should explain.  The menu reads:  "The cellars at THE MODERN are stocked with many luxurious examples of the best winemaking... For those who are looking for a superior value, we offer these gems".  Translation:  "For people celebrating their birthday or some other insignificant milestone in their lives which made them think they could actually afford this restaurant, here are a selection of moderately priced wines which will prevent you from wetting yourself".  We settle on A. Mann Riesling Cuvée Albert, Alsace 2008.

After an armada of amuse bouches, the coolest of which was a shot glass of porcini mushroom flavored popped corn, I chug the rest of my champagne and wait for the main show to begin.  Each tasting menu is seven courses plus a pre-dessert, a post-dessert and about a thousand petit fours to distract you from the bill.  But I'm already exhausted from thinking about it, so let's do a highlights reel. Since Eric and I are too scared to take pictures of the food, we'll borrow from ulterior epicure's meal. Eric's first course is Young Leek Terrine with Quail Eggs and American Sturgeon Caviar.  This looks like something the Black Queen of Sogo might have dined on in Barbarella.  A green triangle that tasted nothing like leek and little icebergs that floated around on the plate.  Weird, but coooooooooooooool!  It was like the chef cooked it with a science kit.

My second course is Tartare of Yellowfin Tuna and Diver Scallops Seasoned with Yellowstone River Caviar.  I didn't notice all the goofball punning on  yellow at the time, but OMG was this f'ing good.  The cucumbers were thinner than paper, probably cut on a deli meat slicer with a diamond encrusted blade.  The balsamic vinegar was drawn on the plate with a ruler!  I remember squeaking and squealing a lot about this dish. "So freeeeeeeeesh!"  "So gooooooooooood!"  "Who gives an f' about dophins!"'

Eric's second course is Diver Scallops and Foie Gras Tartare Seasoned on Tahitian Vanilla and Toasted Buckwheat.  Very pretty, but sort of an  Andrew Zimmern Bizzare Foods experience, i.e. loss of self respect as locals laugh at you while consuming their "exotic" cuisine.  Set on a bed of sand for decoration, the contents inside the shiny pink shell also tasted like sand.  Not sure if this was supposed to be some kind of super experimental cuisine or fine dining joke.  First delighted, then confused, then I needed some more wine.

Third dish on my menu is Ravioli of Escargot with Slow Poached Quail Eggs, Escargot Caviar and Mustard Greens.  I don't think there are enough primordial primitive sounds to express how much I loved this dish.  But I'll do them for you anyway.  Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Ogggggggggggggg!  Bluuuubulishshsss!  Gurgle!  Buh-buh-buh.  Salt! Garlic! Butterz! Only thing I don't get:  what's with all the quail eggs?   I mean seriously, they're on every other dish!

Maybe there was some egg-irony action what with the caviar and all, but that's my best explanation.

Maine Lobster "Cappuccino". WTF?  At this point, I'm getting drunk and sleepy (well into our second hour of dining).  Do I spoon it like soup?  Do I drink it? Eventually we figure it out.   Eric and I pass the cup back and forth, sipping, trying to decide if we like it.  Coffeeish, buttery and meaty.  I can only imagine the latte-drinking Stephen King-acquaintance yuppie who inspired this dish and my suspicion is that they'd be sort of pervy but sexy nonetheless.

The rest of the menu was OMFG good but without all the drama.  At some point, they probably realize that you actually need to eat and start giving you things you can easily recognize.  Our waiter left us alone for the most part and only returned at the end to find out how everything was and implicitly remind us to tip correctly.  Luxury treatment at its best.  I kept my composure when the bill came.  Since we correctly calculated everything ahead of time on our Pokemon calculator there was no reason to overreact.  Paid the bill, got my serial killer gloves and scarf back from the coat check, and went outside to smoke the requisite cigarette. Thanks for the best birthday dinner ever Eric!

"Rah-rah. Ah-ah-ah.  Roma.  Roma-ma.  Ga ga, ooh la la."  Damn you Lady Gaga, why can't I come up with genius s' like that?

Birthday dinner for two:  $ 522.51 (OMGWTF, more painful now than it was then!)

The Modern
The Museum of Modern Art
9 West 53rd Street
(between Fifth and Sixth Avenues)
New York, NY 10019
212.333.1220
 Dining Room Hours Lunch:
Monday - Friday  12:00 pm - 2:00 pm Dinner: Monday - Thursday  5:30 pm - 10:30 pm Friday - Saturday  5:30 pm - 11:00 pm. Closed Sunday

Thanksgiving Dinner, chez nous.

I finally saved up enough Betty Crocker points to send away for my very own The Complete Robuchon cook book.  It's got an iPod like book jacket that features egg whites on white. Coooooool!  The book arrives a few days before Thanksgiving so I decide to take it for the ultimate test ride.  I've never actually cooked a Thanksgiving dinner before.  But honestly, how hard can it be?  Seems that all you really need is a turkey baster, and I've always had one of those laying around in case of an emergency.  I peruse the book, looking for recipes.  Obvious first choice: Roast Turkey or Dinde rôtie (took 20 minutes to get the f'ing house-top circonflex thingy over the "o").  Next is Potato Gratin with Roquefort or Gratin de pommes de terre au roquefort.  Eric joins in the fun with some Grated Carrots with Lemon and Garlic, carottes râpées au citron et à l'ail.  I make my shopping list.  It's off to Whole Foods!

Sadly, we can't resist the gravitational pull of this black hole of yuppie dom. Everything looks so good that somehow four dollars for a bunch of scallions sounds totally reasonable.  But I want my maiden voyage with the Robuchon to be special, so we just go for it.  Shopping here is annoying at best.  But eventually I negotiate through a sea of passive aggressive zombies pushing child-size carts and get to the bottom of the list.

Last stop: cheese counter for some Roquefort.  I can't find it.  Suddenly, from all sides, three over-trained employees sense vulnerability and block me from turning away.  "Can I help you?"  "Yes, do you have any Roquefort cheese?"  "I'm sorry, we don't.  But I can recommend the most OMFG expensive cheese in the store to you!"  "Oh thank you. You've been very helpful.   Please take my wallet and what's left of my dignity as a token of my gratitude."  After downgrading a few ingredients, I'm ready to check out.  Sixty dollars for a turkey, some veg and a block of cheese.  I feel dirty and used.

Putting the past behind me, I set to work.  The potato gratin seems easy enough, so I take care of that first.  Just cutting and mixing.  Next comes the turkey.  This was sort of like doing the Hokey Pokey.  "You put the bird right in, you take the bird right out, you put the bird right in and turn it all about".  All I can say is that it's not easy to rotate a ten pound turkey in a dutch oven.  And how come I've never seen anyone cook a turkey this way before?  Weird, but whatever.  Eric comes in the kitchen and makes his carrot dish.  Manages to get grated carrots everywhere.  Seems annoying, but it's actually very charming.

Hours later, exhausted, we finally sit down to eat.  First plate, potato Gratin.  Eric and I spend about fifteen minutes making those weird voices we make when we really like something. "OMG!" "It's gooooooooooooood." "WTF!"  "I like blue cheeeeeeeeeeeese."  etc.  Next is the turkey.  :(   I should have just taken it to the basement and put it in the dryer.  All that Hokey Pokey for nothing!  But the carrots, delicious!  Good job Eric!  Maybe next year we'll just make side dishes and I'll order the bird from QVC.  Disgusting, but convenient.

Dinner for two:  $62.00 plus labor.

Bouchon Bakery, Time Warner Building, New York City.

Bouchon Bakery is in the Time Warner building.  I remember when it was first opened.  Most Manhattanites were still puzzled by malls.  Crickets used to hang out there.  Now it's overflowing!  Also, has two of the most expensive restaurants in the world. I suppose that's what dreams are for.  But in the mean time, Bouchon Bakery is pretty accessible.  It's on the third floor.  Looks like any old mall stand from afar.  Sort of like Auntie Anne's Pretzels.  (Note visual comparison.)  Anyway, this bakery does the bread for Per Se, the fancy place upstairs, but for cheap.  So like moths to a flame, aspiring upwardly mobile yupsters are everywhere (Mika and Eric sadly included).

It's pretty late in the day when we get there and the place looks ransacked.  Few choices.  There's lots of high stress anxiety people sitting on mall cafe stools at counters, trying to look relaxed.  (How the f@#* can you relax in a hallway surrounded by hard-core holiday shopperz?)  Eric sends me into the fray, he wants a pink macaroon and I'm gonna get the cherry brioche.  As I wait to order, some super aggressive Parker Posey wanna-be is having doubts about how a line functions and decides to cut.  She goes go right up to the cashier and orders.  Thankfully she was sent right back by staff.  I mean if you're gonna have a freak out panic attack at the sweets counter, what's the point?

Okay, so we get our stuff and decided to eat it after our trip to the Met (see Ollie's review).  Later, we get to Grand Central and just miss our train, so we've got some time to kill.  We dine in the waiting area.  Only vagrants and malcontent's seem to know this place exists.   First is the macaroon which got crushed in my bag.  I'm skeptical.  Eric goes first, and then hands it to me.  He likes to wait for my reaction in hopes that I'll say something primal and pre-verbal.  I happily oblige:  "It's gooooooooooooood!"  No wait, it's like old people food.  Err... it's both.  Looks hard, but is actually pretty soft and moist.  Can be easily masticated.  Analogous to baby food, but for end of life instead of the beginning.  Mixed with a raspberry flavor from the 19th century, inside is fig.  I think I like it, but I'm not sure.  Next is the cherry brioche.  Buttery butter, I love butter.  It's sexy delish!  I could use a cigarette at this point.  Instead, all we had were the snores of people missing their trains.

Dessert for 2:  $6.53

Ollie's Noodle Shop & Grille, New York City

Ollies's is a HUGE Chinese restaurant!  I mean, not as big as some of those dim sum banquet halls.  But still, two floors and a series of inexplicable cascading terraces.  The first time I ever went here was back in high school.  Sort of a class trip thing to the ballet at Lincoln Center.  An entire day of male classmates trying to figure out my sexuality at the nexus of gaydom.  What fun!  The forced appreciation of on stage "athleticism" only added to my enjoyment.  But Ollie's provided a moment of solace on an otherwise uncomfortable day.

Anway, Eric and I were on our way to see Janacek's From The House of the Dead at the Met.  Ollie's is our usual dinner stop.  Some things never change I guess.  So we walk in and get a number.  Yeah, it's sort of like going to the deli, especially with all the roasted ducks hanging in the window.  But there's nothing like a golden brown duck to get my appetite going.  And how else would you know you were at a Chinese restaurant?

Our number is called after a short wait.  We're sent to the upstairs section.  On our way down a long hall, we pass at least five people with walkie talkies screaming at one another.  This how I know I'm home.  When we get upstairs, we get a booth.  Score!  The tables for two are really cramped and sort of uncomfortable.  By the way, did I mention it's a disco inferno up here!  Eric and I are both overdressed for the opera.  And I mean, I usually like to be warm, but I was beginning to understand how the ducks in the window felt. 

Time to order.  Usually we pig out here.  Sometimes four entrees and a few appetizers!  It's all pretty cheap and the menu is like a phone book.  But we were saving our pennies for my birthday at the Modern (review forthcoming), so we held back a little.  Hot and sour soup to start.  Then some scallion pancakes.  Only two entrees tonight: sauteed fresh green pea sprout with fresh garlic and some pork dish with scallions (sorry, forgot to write this down and the internetz ain't helpin'). 

Now I have to admit, a lot of people complain about this restaurant.  Some think it's too expensive for Chinese.  These folks should go to the one in Morningside Heights.  Smaller menu with lower prices.  Others are disappointed by the service.  But who goes to a Chinese restaurant for the service?  And honestly, if I had people asking how General Tso's chicken is prepared, I'd be surly too!  Better to ask Jennifer 8. Lee.  She's charming, funny and very patient with white people.

The food arrives.  This was a few weeks ago, so all I can tell you is that I loved everything!  The soup was peppery.  Oh god, how I love hot and sour soup!  Even when it's bad, it's good.  Scallion pancakes never disappoint.  I've had these about a thousand times in my life.  Ollie's does them best.  So crispy, so salty.  I'm drooling just thinking about it! As we're eating, we're stripping layers of clothing with the arrival of each dish.  It's and an MF'ing sauna!!!  I'm becoming delirious.  A feeding frenzy ensues.  Almost as if the zoo keeper forgot to feed the chinchillas at the rodent exhibit.  (Being generally anxious people, E. and I both lack self control at the dinner table).  The pork and scallion dish was delicious.  Although probably a mistake to pair it with scallion pancake.  But the green pea sprouts soon came to our rescue.  Don't know why I like this dish so much.  It has a satisfying texture and freshness, even when cooked.  My all time favorite in green leaf food group.

Got the check and hurried off to the Met.  Typically, dinner here only takes about fort-five minutes.  But be forewarned.  Small food coma from the grease.  Fell asleep three times during the show.  Fortunately, I didn't miss the orgiastic scene where a group of male inmates pantomime scenes from Don Juan.  Adam Lambert has nothing on these guys!  I'm mean seriously, pop culture is so conservative.

Pre-show dinner for 2: $44.62  On second thought, maybe that was expensive...

Bobby's Burger Palace, Mohegan Sun Casino, Uncasville CT

Bobby's Burger Palace is located in one of my favorite CT destinations: Mohegan Sun Casino!  Eric and I go there sometimes to reenact that scene from Indecent Proposal when Woody Harrelson loses his shirt at the roulette table and has to loan out his wife to save their dream house.  I usually like to play the Demi Moore character.   I'm more into sacrifice, ethical dilemmas and luxury yachts than Eric.

No amateur pimping tonight though.   I hit it big on the slots!  160 smackers on a 40 cent spin.  Wisely, we decided to invest the winnings.  So rather than a three course prix fixe at the Modern this weekend, we'll be enjoying the seven course tasting menu (rate of expected return- 0% -. Ed)!  Happy thirtieth birthday Mika!  But since the cost of this exorbitant celebration is gonna leave us in the poor house for a few months, we decided to use our casino rewards points and dine at Bobby Flay's cheap Burger Palace instead of the très chere Bar Americain.  (Don't worry, we'll get to it some day).

Now we had to wait in line for a while.  Jimmy Buffet was in town and the pre-concert dinner rush was intense.  Hawaiian shirts, leis, parrots, dreams of the Caribbean.  Can anyone explain to me how "Love in the Library" fits in to all of this?  In the mean time, I learn how to use the panorama function on my phone's camera.  You can see the burgerlicious results for yourself! (See banner above). Bar seating looks like ribbon candy.  Table seating surrounded by translucent food exrays and blobular pendant lamps.  I'd love to squeeze one.  Pop!

Finally we get to the front of the line and order.  Eric:  Dallas burger, sweet potato fries, coke.  Mika:  L.A. burger, beer battered onion rings, Blue Point Toasted Lager.  Beware alcohol drinkers, you've gotta fill out some DMV-like paperwork before you can drink.  Sigh.  Next we make our way to the ribbon candy bar (see above) and find some seats.  Eric is starving, angry and playing with the condiment tray.  I'm gazing at the parrotheads and self-medicating with my lager.

The food arrives fast.  This place is a model of efficiency.  All you get is a number when you order and then at least five different people serve your food.  Apparently silverware is optional.  "Will you need a place setting tonight?"  Eric was mortified and demanded I make note of this.  My burger is delicious.  Seared on the outside, moist and pink on the inside...  I know, I should really get with the times and give up meat.  Someday I'd love to have a little farm with tons of barnyard friends to keep me company.   But a good burger once or twice a month keeps me from becoming a gross anemic skeletor.  Anyway, on top of the burger is a heaping serving of guacamole.  Embarassing amount of fat, but delicious.  I forgot to ask Eric about his burger so no news there.  Sweet potato fries are nuttin special.  But the onion rings...  Man alive!  "Cockles and mussels, alive, alive, oh!"  These are OMFG good!  I wish I could beer batter everything.  The only thing better would be Lady Gaga tickets at the Mohegan Sun Arena on January 18th.  Sadly, we live in a unfettered capitalist society (the casino/ case and point) where scalpers are allowed to buy them all up and charge three times face value.  Some other time, I guess...

Dinner for two: 30.16.  After rewards points: 13.35

Happy Thanksgiving

We have 6 reviews up, next week will bring Bobby's Burger Palace and The Modern dining room. In the meantime as we save our money, have some ham

Paula Deen gets hit with ham :/:(



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Seoul Restaurant, New Haven, CT

Seoul Restaurant is usually a sleepy place.  One of the few places in town where you can get Korean food.  Owned by a certain Mrs. Kim.  Generally pretty good.  The other one's called Oriental Pantry.  Awful name, I know.  But owned by a different Mrs. Kim and has significantly lower prices.

Anyway, I was there on Friday night for an Asian alumni dinner thing,  part of Eric's part time job.  He and our friend Esther participated.  I was happy to be invited, they put on great events. Free dinner and a chance to wear my new suit.  Not interested in impressing the alumni.  I just love fine Italian tailoring... I also wanted to blend in, but that sort of backfired.  Waiting in line, all these old men gave me strange looks thinking:  "He's in a suit.  Must be here for the dinner.  But he's not Asian.  Probably has some sort of fetish."  I just smiled and waited to go inside.

Speaking of inside, it's a trip back to 1982.   Sort of charming, but they're missing some mirrored walls and a wait staff in shoulder-pad blouses for the full effect.  Mauve on the ceiling and a deep-aquamarine accents revive some classic Miami Vice color combos.

Okay, so we're finally eating.  Buffet style.  Everyone's worried there won't be enough food.  I agree and focus on getting myself fed.  I grab a bit of everything (see photo: yeah apparently I'm a freeloading pig) and sit back down with E and E.    Esther encourages me to drink.  Without being bidden twice, I make my way to the bar.  "Kirin please!"  I love this beer.  I order.  Here's my card.  (Bar maid looks confused and worried.  She has a heated discussion with the owner.)  "I'm sorry.  10 dollar minimum."  Living on credit, I sigh with disappointment and mutter curses under my breath as I turn away.

Back to the food.  Something covered in red sauce, labeled "fish".  Has the consistency of calamari, but later I find out it's got little to do with fish. Rather, it's a "rice cake".  I'm confused.  But I like it.  Tastes like gnocchi in a nice savory velvet sauce.  Kinda tangy.  I move on.  Next are those pickled bean sprouts.  These are refreshing.  As much as anything pickled can be.  A nice balance with the red sauce mystery plate.  There was a little bit of jap chae left when i got to the buffet.  One of my favorite Korean dishes.  Wished there had been more.  Then some bul go gi like dish.  Just fine, even though wherever I order this, it always looks a bit like factory leftovers.  There were also some cream filled mini eclairs for desert.  But fresh tasting and sort of fitting with the whole 1980s theme of the place.

The evening wraps up quickly.  Then time to settle the bill.  This has nothing to do with me.   But as expected, the buffet ran out.  More food was made.  Seoul wanted to charge more.  Through the window I see that all's awash in misunderstanding and heated discussion.  Tempers flare, eyes are enraged.  Later, I find out that my failed attempt at a beer even stirred up trouble. 

Final analysis:  I find in favor of the plaintiff.   Buffet is buffet and you can't

 just run out!  Sorry Seoul!  Your food is fine.  But I think Oriental Pantry will be taking care of all future hankerings.  Unless there's a 10 minimum there too.  In which case, no solo dining!  Thank you Esther and Eric for the invite!  Dinner for 3, free.  Courtesy of Yale.